From NHS to Naturally Healthier Solutions

Sublimation is a psychoanalytic term for the process by which energy is transformed from suffering into positive life enhancing energy via a creative process…

Writing poetry about my own suffering really helped me, it was cathartic and i would recommend it to anyone who is going through something at the moment.

Here are 2 poems that I wrote in 2018, when in a mental health institution.

Untitled 1

Ive seen demons in the sky

They affected me no less than seeing graffiti on a wall.

I saw the all seeing eye

But what was the purpose of it all

Slightly shocked but not dismayed.

Through misfiring neurones were these images relayed????

Whatever it was, in its attempt to destroy me,

To hallucinate like that some druggies would of paid.

All it did was annoy me

What a day what a day

These things sent to try me, they want me dead.

What is going on?

Im scared i’ll wind up dead.

I cannot stay like that for long.

Dare not tell the doctor

And a room full of strangers

Who do not have a clue

About the waking nightmares i have been through

Am I in danger?

They don’t even seem caring

Not even a thank you for sharing

Dressed in suits that are about as impersonal as the smiles on their faces

Not an ounce of empathy

Is found in these places

So why should I tell them

The horrors of my mind.

To people that are so clinical and unkind

Surpress me

Inject me

Dont even respect me

Forget me

With battle scars that could of threatened my life

Cut myself  with a blunt knife

Because all these voices cause me too much strife

Blood on the floor, Staining my shoes

Delusions in my head

This is more than just blues

Left alone for 3 days in a hospital room

, no contact, no reassurance, doom and gloom.

“Its OK she will survive”

It is such a chore just being alive

Where was the talking, the empathy that i needed?

I thought things could not get worse, then worse things proceeded.

Words that could of healed the wounds on my body that bleeded

Not just the cuts, the cause which lie in my broken mind

What for someone to care, when I’m out of my mind?

Is that too much to ask?

Look she is staring, make her feel bad

Hey I feel bad enough already, dont make me mad.

Its scary wen you stare.

Well it is scary for now me just being there,

Every second of my existance is driving my crazy

So dont try o fob me off because you are too lazy

I would do it for myself but my mind is too hazy

So then I lash out, whoops a daisy.

To really help, really care. Like your paid to do.

Even my family dont do that.

Does anyone around here have a clue?

Have you seen what Ive been through?

So when you tell me off for staring, because you see me as an irritation

Are you really help or just an imitation?

Do you get my message?

OK i cant speak right now, and inside, it feels like hell

And all you do is complain about the smell.

Just for someone to care, I had to phone a medic

No counselling offered, for my mothers suicide

Left like a leper,  disregarded,

told that i was a nuisance,

 Is it no wonder that i am so guarded?

Untitled 2

I’ve been in and out of the system

Most of them don’t even listen

Is nursing a job that doesnt involve quality?

 Resist them

I would rather study trigonometry,

 Get pissed then

They think they are curing me

This admission is boring me

What is its purpose? To make me worse?

Is their job ignoring me?

They say ignorance is bliss

But who could ignore this?

Patients in a mess, distress, but they couldnt care less

They treat me like I’m hannibal lector

Hey guys welcome to the nhs sector!!

Public healthscare – you would know about it if you were there

What goes on behind closed doors

What are these places for?

Dumping grounds for the mentally ill

Fed on a diet of pills

This place gives me the chills

Prescription medication,

Reduced to zombies by sedation

Addicts of the prescription kind,

Disease of the mind

Are these places to relax and unwind?

I don’t think so, I’ve never been so low

  Retarded treatment

Disregarded patients

Wherethey treat the suicidal

Like they are bums being idle